Buffy revisited

Well it's been a while since I posted and since the last one was kind pathos laden I thought it was high time to revisit the funny. This is an essay I posted earlier, but I just rewrote it and doubled it's length so I thought I'd put it out there and see if you guys appreicted the additions.

Also, it has come to my attention that some of my loyal readers can no longer read this blog from thier work computers because of security settings that don't permit them to visit any site with a underscore in the url. I don't know how to fix that on thier computers and the techies here on Blog Spot haven't been forth coming with the info on how to change my underscore to a hypen or forwardslash.
So in the mean time, I'm more than willing to email out my postings to interested parties. If you'd like me to do this service for you, free of charge, please don't hesitate to drop me a line. email me at ethier
corijezmi@yahoo.com or be_bead_dazzling1@yahoo.com
and let me know where you'd like me to send it, and if you want it only once or on a per demand basis or any time I vent here on blog spot.

whew, enough of the dull business, now on to the giggles...

Buffy--She slays me!

The title of the show is just ludicrous enough to work. “Buffy The Vampire Slayer.” I mean paring a fluffily-silly-I-haven’t-got-a-thought-in-my-head name like “Buffy Summers” with “Vampire Slayer” something from a low budget B horror movie and some how it works. Its that same philosophy that is applied to the shows over arching theme. Take B horror movie monsters and themes and pair them with teeny-bopper angst and Southern California shopping mall mentality. Throw in a healthy dose of martial art fighting and blend with an artfully hidden dash of pathos and realism and you’ve got “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. The one of- if not the best- show of this new millennia. That is quite the claim, I realize, but if you’ve ever watched the show, you know what I’m taking about. Or that is, if you’ve watched the show and carefully listened for the deeper darker base line running soothingly beneath the other wise bright and lighthearted melody.

The show was the offspring of Joss Wedon the man who wrote the Hollywood cult classic “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. He wrote it and then lost all creative control of his baby when the voracious waters of Hollywoodome sucked it out of his grasp (which is why the Movie is just plain silly and campy with out the rewarding and surprisingly meaningful punch line and the T.V show is nothing short of art, but I digress). Joss explained the birth of Buffy, coming from his long time fondness of classic horror films. Simply put what if that shrieking, blond-bimbo ran down the alley, and instead of being there to get eaten, is actually expecting it and even planned it? What if instead of getting horribly slaughtered she’s the one doing the slaughtering? Thus Buffy entered the universe, and we are all, I think, better for it.

The biggest reason Buffy is such a fine show, is that it doesn’t duck the big issues; in fact it hunts them down and ‘slays’ them. In one episode, ‘The Judge’- Buffy battles a big horned-smurf-blue-incinerate-you-from-the-inside-with-a-touch demon. This big azure tone cutie rather blatantly personifies the sexual conflict depicted between Buffy the protagonist and her erst while boyfriend Angel (who just happens to be a Vampire). The monster destroys with a touch all that is good inside a person, so when it touches the other vampires and creatures with no soul nothing happens. As I said its a pretty obvious corollary to teenage-y angst about sex and sin (as admitted by Joss himself in the commentary on the episode from the DVD). In the television show, our heroine Buffy obliterates the Smurf, ah I mean the Judge with a rocket launcher in the middle of a shopping mall, with rather spectacular results. During the running commentary Joss I think puts it best when he said. “We take these B movie monsters and let them personify some emotional teen age angst, but the feelings are real, the situations feel real, they resonate with people and that’s why I think, people watch it, they can identify with it. You know that show T.V. show Party of Five? I loved that show, it was a moving, well written drama, I cried buckets, it had great emotional resonance, but what happened? It got canceled. Why? Because good drama isn’t enough, you can't have hour after hour of the hard stuff, people don't like it, they get tired of it or worse yet bored. We here at Buffy have a different philosophy, we are I think such a success because we have that same emotional resonance, those genuine feelings and we pair it with, well--rocket launchers. That ladies and gentleman is the true secret of our success, emotional resonance and rocket launchers.” I for one couldn’t agree more. Joss and the other talent writers have emotional resonance by the Winnebago full.

The second reason it works, is the undeniable humor, it is easily the funniest, most witty, and most clever shows I have ever seen (except maybe Angel the spin off). There is all sorts of great big funny thanks almost entirely to Joss the creator. I will easily and happily admit to being a devoted fan of all things Joss Wedon. Its undeniable humor was one of the very first things that struck me about this show when I finally watched it. You see I had been hearing about “Buffy The Vampire Slayer The Series” from a large number of people, and from a group as diverse as my teeny-bopper-sister's-giggly-little friends and my oldest (in their thirties) siblings.

Everyone that endorsed my watching Buffy were scant on just WHY it was good. They couldn't articulate it very well, only that it was REALLY good. Saying something is the 'best in the universe' is to me the kiss of death. If someone out there is telling me in a impassioned-eye-popping-nearly-religious-they're-so-impressed-over-the-top tone of voice that whatever it is they're fans of is the 'very bestest ever!', it will actually make me NOT want to see it (Which is why I, an admitted fantasy fan didn't even try and read J.R.R. Tolkien until after watching the first two Lord Of the Rings movies and grew impatient to see what happened next so I finally broke down and read the series).

In regards to 'Buffy' I was experiencing the same sort of reluctance, 'it's really good' wasn't enough for me to spend time and energy figuring out when and where it was on. I had seen the movie and although I liked the concept, thought over all the delivery was just too silly and stupid to make it worth watching the show. Then one day, rather by accident I caught a whole episode, one of the early second season ones I believe. One of the classic silly episodes. Joss was careful to try and alternate the more pathos heavy ones with the lighter laugh out loud episodes. A balance I thought struck well, over all.

Buffy has several other things going for it, a cast of eye pleasing characters, a bunch of people that can not only remember their lines, but were surprisingly adept actors who could do the physically demanding stunts and wring tears from the audience, as well as make us all bust up laughing. There were also very talented folks who directed, composed and performed the music, wrote, art directed, and lit and dressed the sets. The whole package is well wrapped and delivered. When all was said and done, with all the outstanding writing, Vampires, teen angst, genuine emotional resonance, and boundless, bits of brilliant, quotable humor you pretty much can't help but have the very best show ever.

A very important and private letter...

I put this here because I A)feel the need to vent in a realatively annonomous format and B)I'd sincerely appreciate any and all feed back.

This is a letter to My ex-husband Thad regarding visitation with my child. He's five and the light of my life. Last night is my agreed upon night to have my son and because I didn't call the day before my ex decided I didn't get to see him. Not only that I wasn't permitted to see him tonight instead and am expected to just wait until this weekend.
That did NOT make me happy.
I've been a push over for the last three plus years because I was on some level terrified that he would take my son away from me for good. I finally got over that.
so I wrote this.

PLEASE if you read this make a comment, send me or email something. I plan on printing this and hand delivering it to his place of work today and hope I make it out of the building before his head explodes.

wish me luck,
Cori


Dear Thaddues,
I am writing you a letter in hopes of more effectively communicating with you concerning visitation with porter. I am well aware that those things that are best for Porter are concerns forefront in both our minds. We as his Mother and Father both strongly desire his happiness and at least as importantly his over all health and well being. In point of fact, your over arcing care in regards to his best interests is the quality I most appreciate about you.
However, of late, I feel your convenience has taken precedence to my court appointed time with my child. This does not sit well with me. Generally you have been willing to work with me and I have appreciated it. In the last five weeks, however, with my pregnancy and consequent ill health I feel as if my being sick and not as reliable as I had thus far been, has served as an excuse to deny me time with Porter. A reason to not have to suffer the inconvenience of dealing with me.
Make no mistake—I do not believe that you spend your days plotting against me, or your time thinking bad things about me. Why would you? You have a very full and busy life that has nothing to do with me. Most of the time, I believe you don't think much about me at all.
There in lies the problem. I am Porter's mother. I have not always been the very best Parent, a fact we both are aware of and openly acknowledge. Today however, this week, this month, this season I am not only the very best parent I am capable of being but an entirely different woman than the one you divorced.
More than four years have passed, we've both moved on and had many myriad experiences, not the least of which is that we've both had time and life lessons that have led us to greater growth and maturity.
Do not make the mistake of assuming I am who and what I was. That can be a dangerous assumption and one that is patently unfair not only to me but to our most cherished child.
I have told you before that I am very reluctant to bring anyone else in to try and resolve our conflicts. But I am rapidly approaching the point where I feel that you are leaving me no option but to seek legal recompense; to put in binding terms just exactly what my visitation privileges are.
Believe me that is not a course you want to force me upon. I have at my disposal not only a long experienced, high paid lawyer, but the man who considers himself to be Porter's grandfather who is also a judge. Do not try and push me any further out of my child's life Thaddues. For the first time since Porter's conception I have the logistic wherewithal and emotional strength and maturity to push back.
I love Porter and despite my periodic wishes to the contrary I still care very much about you and your family. You are a good man and an excellent parent to our child. You also seem to me to be in some ways a man of the path of least resistance. I strongly object to your convenience superceeding my right to time with Porter. I will willingly and happily do whatever it is that is required facilitate not only more time with Porter but at least as importantly more consistent time with my only child.
I am not satisfied with a 'On a case by case basis' visitation schedules with my son. I say that because sadly-- experience has shown me that more often than not, the odds have been, and unless something is done now, will continue to be,
in your favor.
To that end I am requesting that we revisit the parenting plan we made four years ago. I would much prefer to do it under the less confrontational, more friendly terms we've enjoyed in the past, but I do insist that this new plan not only be committed to paper, but formalized and recognized by the proper authorities.
Please consider all that I have said with care, and please do NOT call me.
I refuse to participate in another screaming session on ethier of our parts. Yelling had no place in two reasonable adults attempting to work out a amicable solution to a conflict, most especially when its in regard to the welfare of our most treasured child. That s why I ask that you judiciously consider all that I have said and write me out a response. A mailed or hand delivered letter or email would suffice. Please do think on these things well before you respond. Porter deserves us both being as thoughtful and considerate as possible on this matter.
Here's hoping to a peaceful resolution for all our sakes.
Debbie

Conceeding defeat...

okay, okay, I admit it! I give! Uncle! As embarressed as I am to admit it the sad truth of the matter is that I am meant to write (and it makes me faintly ill even to think it) ROMANCE Novels!
Aaaak!
seriously though, I seem to have a real knack for the smushy stuff. Dont get me wrong I have NO intention of being the next Danielle Steel or anything, no icky formulaic crap for me! No all ORINGINAL smush crap thank you very much!
To that end I'm posting a bit from my first Novel "The Crown of Arcadia" I just rewote and thought it worked well.
Hope you enjoy!
Corijezmi


Sorell made an effort to join in the jocular conversation going on around him, half in Elivsh and half in common. It had been too long since he’d visited these woods. He regaled the tall, gracefull elves around him with tales of Arcadia and court, some to intrigue, most to amuse. Elves had a peculiar sense of humor that Sorell had come to appreciate. Even as his lips smiled his eyes oft times did not and it was all he could do to pick at the green bounty in front of him. This people ate little meat and that usually for special occasions, but they had a curd of a certain tuber they used in succulent meatless courses, and countless fruits and vegetables many of which he still could not put a proper name to. Serena hadn’t come to the table yet, but custom did not extend to the dinning tables. Large gracefully carved wooden tables had been laid out with great wooden, woven and fresh cut leaves for platters, piled high with delectable dishes. Normally he would have gladly dug in, but tonight the fresh and rich scents left him feeling slightly nauseous, and the merry laughter and conversation of the men and women seated on benches around him rang unpleasantly in his ears. He took a deep breath and looked up at the canopy of leaves overhead, noticing the swift setting of the sun, the light fiery and golden as it filtered through the branches. A tug on his sleeve woke him from his mental wondering. He turned to see his friend Taranis smiling at his wistful expression.
“Come, Le'fenatetha Sorell'eatha (LE'-Fen-A-Tae-Tha Sore-El-Atha the Elvish term that roughly translates to “My adopted-brother-of-the-green-who-for-reasons-I-don't-entirely-understand-chooses-to-walk-within-walls Sorell) the Queen would like to see you now.” He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the appaleation, it had been a while since his friend had called him by that half jokeing nickname. Was he delibreately trying to remind him of this strangeness to their culture or whas he just teasing him? The nearly, but not quite wicked gleam in his eye as he finished his statement seemed like a clear indication it was the later. The Elf practically waggled his high arching eye brows as he told the Mage “She wants to see you, alone.” but then the look was gone before he could be sure he saw anything. So he kept his answer in the clearly correct zone when he told his still smiling friend,
“Of course.” and rose to join him.
Taranis let him down a familiar path until they reached a small clearing around the base of an enormous three. Easily as wide as two average size homes. Which of course is exactly what it was. Serena was the Queen, but when it came to living quarters the slightly larger size and a little plusher interior was the only sign that someone of importance lived there. Taranis walked with him to the door then turned and bowed to him, in an oddly formal gesture, before raising his hand in a small jaunty wave and disappearing into the trees silently. Sorell took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock, when there was a soft call from inside.
“Come in Sorell, I’ve been expecting you.” He shook his head minutely as the door swung open. He stepped inside, nodding at the pair of elves standing just inside the door
“Boys.” He told them with a small quirk of his lips. They looked to be in their late teens, but having met the pair before he was well aware they were closer to seventy than to seventeen. They just tried not to smile back as he took a few steps towards Serena. She stood not too far into the foyer, next to one of the soft benches normally reserved for petitioners. She smiled a small delighted smile at his entrance; he returned it wryly and was pleasantly surprised when it didn’t immediately disappear. She took his hand warmly before turning to the two elves at the door.
“Thank you for waiting gentlemen but I think I’d like to spend a little time alone with my old friend here.” The guards just nodded almost entirely stifeling the conspirtorial grin they shared before they exited on swift and stealthy feet.
The door shut gently with hardly a whisper of sound and Sorell Royal Mage of Arcadia was left alone with Serena Seer and Queen for all the Elvish People. They stood gazing long at each other for one eternal seeming moment, finally it was she that moved. She lifted one hand towards him, raised it half way before pausing hesitantly, her open, innocent seeming face conflicted, she seemed torn between want and concern, hope and fear. “Sorell'Atha easta.” She whispered. 'Beloved of my heart, though not of my kin.' She called him, 'beloved' she named him and the look in her gaze drove that title home. “Beloved.” She whispered again, in common, her hand ghosting up to gently cup his cheek, while her other still held his firmly.
It was too much, the genuine worry, the kindness and gentleness, the unconditional regard he saw reflected like an eternity of summer sun warmed leaves in her gaze. 'Beloved' she had called him and something with in him broke, the ridged control he'd fought tooth and nail for, the facade he'd struggled to maintain all through dinner came crashing down and he crumpled, took one faltering step towards the Queen, not his Queen, but a Queen, a woman he knew heart and soul and flesh, a being older even than he, but with the openess and sweetness of a child. “Beloved” she whispered to him again as he pressed his face into her softly scented palm, comforting tingles of magic and affection lept from her skin to his.
“Serena'Ofetha easta” He whispered back hoarsely. 'Beloved of my heart and guest of my flesh.' tears springing to his violet eyes. He reached for her and slid his arm around her waist, she moved closer, melted against him and let him pull her tightly to him, headless of the wrinkles to her gown or the way the crown of flowers slipped to one side as he buried his face in her fragrent curls. “Serena'Otha easta” He nearly moaned into her hair 'beloved who though not my kin, is my heart.' She surrounded him with her suddenly fiercely strong arms, pulled him to her hard and pressed her cheek to his, whispering, whispering into his ear as he shook in soundless sobs.
“Sorell Easta, I am here.” She told him, “beloved I name thee and thou art.” She went on, “Beloved I call you, even when I now see your soul's match face graven on your heart.” she told him, her dulcet voice throbbing with care and concern as she went on quietly earnest “Beloved you shall always be even when you and your beloved's children's children are soon for this earth. Beloved you have been from the day we met, and beloved thou art.” She repeated and he just held her so hard he would have bruised a mortal woman. Serena was no mere mortal. The greiveing Mage held tightly to her as if she were the only piece of boyant flotsam left after the utter destruction of his ship. He was drowning and this increidble creature was the only thing keeping him afloat.
“Easta!” He moaned again, his heart tearing assunder. The death of his Queen Muriel the finding and then loosing of his soul's match Alinathea, this distrubing, fractured vison of the future. It was too much, too much in the face of the love of a Queen. He sobbed aloud now, tears running down his face unashamedly as he lost all strength. She sensed his fall and stepped back gracefully loosening her death grip enough he could slide down her form, fall to his knees as she gently sat on the bench behind her and allowed him to colapse, let him fall before gathering him to her again, pulling his tear stained cheek to her chest.
“Easta.” She mummered, as she pressed his face to her bosom and pressed her cheek to his earthy curls as she vowed quietly “Beloved, they pain is my pain, thy love is my love, pour out all thy grief upon me and I shall take it up. Beloved, give to me all that is dark with all that is thy light and I shall take it up and carry it with me always.” It was an ancient entreaty, a request and a promise so old even these long lived creatures hardly recalled its origin and it had the desired effect. Sorell let loose his pain and wept for all that was, all that was not and all he feared would be. He shook and cried unabashedly for several long moments. Finally he sobs subsided and he pulled back enough to look up into her stunning emerald gaze. He was a little surprised to see not only tears of sympathy in her eyes, but a minute furrow of regret in her own brow. He reached up to brush it gently with his thumb wonderingly.
“Serena?” He asked huskily. She pushed his hand away gently, her brow smoothing instantly.
“Shhh.” She told him. “Shhh, it is nothing, only an infentessimal moment of regret that it is not I who is your other half.” He suddenly felt like a complete jerk.
“I-” He tried to object, tried to apologize, she stopped with with a quick finger to his lips.
“We both know we were not intended for that life, we both have the Gift and know that is not the intended path.” He saw the clear, sure emerald gaze of a Seer, for the moment, the worried mother, adoring friend, and threatened lover, all vanished and a mighty and benevolent Prophetess spoke to him. Serena the spiritual leader of her people spoke and hehad no choice but to believe. Then she sighed and ran her fingers through his hair, looking suddenly like a love lorn teen ager. “I just sometimes wish...” She told him so softly he almost didn't hear it.” He moved to cup her cheek and she blinked back a tear, calming, and stifeling the moments regret. This time it was he that reassured her.
“Beloved you have been from before we ever met, and beloved thou art.” he whispered, his voice rought from crying, but throbbing with sincerity. She nodded, another tear joining the other, this one though, this one happier and girlish and anceint at once. He straightened, shifting to press even closer to her side as he moved to cup her alabaster smooth cheek. “Beloved thou has always been and beloved thou shalt always be.” he whispered to this suddenly fragile seeming being. “Serena'Ofetha easta” he mummered his voice husky for a whole other reason as he bent to kiss first one cheek and then the other, “'Ofetha” he named her, 'of my flesh' he pledged to her and moved to kiss the tears from her face. She moved to cup the hands that held her face and sighed against his lips as he finally moved to brush hers with his. Fire edged rose petals they were, lightening and storm smothered in velvet and rainwater. She moaned gently against him, as real and hungry as any woman. He kissed her again, licked her full, unbearably sweet bottom lip. She shivered this creature of anceint magic and eternally young face. She trembled in his arms and kissed him back with ardor. She too was lonely, she too grieved and for a moment they could both help the other forget their pain. Together they could create a safe haven, even if it were illusory, even if it were fleeting. Serena Queen of the Glade kissed Sorell the Magician and whispered against his lips.
“Beloved.” He responded by kissing her harder as he stood and swept her into his strong arms.
“Beloved.” he nearly growled back. Hungry beyond all reasoning, desperate for sweetness, and kindness and forgetfullness, if only for a moment. He kisssed her deep and long and she gasped with want biting his lip and suckling his neck as he carried her swiftly into her welcoming bed chamber.

Home again home again jiggity jig...

Well for at least the next fifty minutes it's been exactly a week since I posted last. I have to wonder did anyone notice? Anyone care?
le sigh
Don't get me wrong it's not as if I rely upon approval, perusal or even interested in my blog for my sense of self worth or anything. I just feel as if I put some of my best stuff out there, my words, myself and can't help wondering if anyone even notices. As I accused my good friend in a comment on HIS blog I can't seem to help 'wearing my heart on my blog'...
I guess the mild despondency comes from the thirty two plus hours it took to get home from my wonderful family reunion vacation. Thanks to corporate policy (don't EVEN get me started) and a freakin' busted light bulb we missed our connection in Atlanta Georgia. Rather than hold the stupid plane (the LAST plane of the day I might add) to Portland for TEN MINUTES the airline decided to put a dozen of us up in a hotel for the night. Grrr, stupid but whatever.
The thing that REALLY bothered me is this friend of mine (see 'those for whom I care').
I called him Friday night and he sounded really down. I asked what was wrong and he confided that his girlfriend (another dear friend of mine) had just dumped him. I was frankly astonished and he was practically in tears. I consoled him as best I could from the other side of the nation on a poorly heard cell phone. I hesitated asking for a favor in this his hour of grief (the break up had only been official as of that afternoon), but figured he might be grateful for a chance to see me his sympathetic friend. Turns out I was right, he was totally willing to pick us up from the airport and let us crash at his house in Portland for the evening before taking us to the train station for the trip home later in the day.
THEN we were stranded in Atlanta and by the time we got to Portland, this boys tears had dried and he was ONLY willing to give us a ride to the Amtrak station. I hinted quite broadly about not even having the fare to make it all the way home, as well as mentioning that he owed me money for some freakin supplements I ordered from Amway's bastard child Quixtar (that I made the mistake of signing up for under this guy) back in Jan. and didn't receive until a month ago. It's been so long in fact that now that I'm pregnant I can't even take the damn things. He not only didn't offer to give us a ride (which I pretty much didn't expect thanks to realizing on some level that although a basically nice guy he was also a pretty self oriented fellow) but he didn't even offer to pay me in part or all for the damn supplements or even LOAN me the five dollars we needed to take the damn Amtrak bus all the way to Eugene.
A few weeks ago this guy was in town visiting with his girl (exactly a year ago he was supposed to move in with her and instead with practically no warning moved to Portland to attend school, and he's astonished that she dumped him??) and I called him because it was like ninety degrees outside and thanks to having to walk every place, (my friend gave me her car but left it with her sister who I can't find) having only slept about 15 hours in six days, and being newly pregnant and full blown gestational diabetic- felt like crap. I honestly thought I was going to ethier A)black out (having already done that once in a diabetic swoon) or B) throw up what little lunch I'd scrounged. I called him cause I hadn't seen him in town for some time and I knew he had a car and free time on his hands do you know what he told me when I asked for a ride the mile and a half home?
"Well gee I don't know I just wanted to ly around here and relax." I was so upset and sick I started to shake--I have a really hard time asking for help and here I was practically begging my so called friend for a little help. My voice started to tremble when I responded
"Yea, well I feel really sick, like I'm going to pass out or throw up..." There was silence on the other end of the line as tears stared to come, and my voice grew even more tremulous with them "Kris is at work and I don't honestly have the strength to even make it to the bus stop so I could really use your help!" I could hear the hesitation at the other end of the line, but finally he answered
"Well..." I pushed on, crying a little now and ashamed that he conjured that in me.
"Look, I can't do this on my own and I hoped you could give me a ride, but if you can't I understand just let me know so I can try and arrange something else." Finally that seemed to get through, he sighed and then answered
"Well, how soon do you need me? Cause I don't think I could be there for like another thirty minutes or so." I was crushed and appalled to realize I hadn't honestly expected more from the man, that despite my fondness for him, I knew deep down that he wasn't someone I could rely on and that my asking HIM for this seemingly small favor was in part my way of testing our friendship. I'm sad to say in my own mind he failed that test.
He didn't give me a ride by the way, not right then, I stayed where I was and a friend of mine fed me and commiserated with me while it cooled out side and my vitamins and lots of water and food helped revive me enough to walk to the bus station and get home.
so flash forward three weeks and here's my friend being all solicitous and helping to load our bags in his trunk, giving me a hard and sincere hug and then he completely flakes on me. The ONLY reason we got home was because the woman sitting in front of us overheard or frantic phone calls to friends and family in Salem in hopes of netting if not a ride, at least the necessary five bucks to get home. She finally turned around and asked us
"So how much do you need?" Frustrated I told her a little shortly,
"Like five bucks! if we empty our bank account." Kris chimed in
"Yea my pay check is waiting for us at home!" I went on,
"We hadn't planned on being stranded in Atlanta over night and because I'm pregnant with twins and full blown diabetic we've had to spend way too much money on my eating every forty five minutes!" She nodded, reached into her bag and handed me a five dollar bill. I was floored.
"God bless you woman!" I told her and she just nodded meekly as I went on
"I promise you we will mail you a check tomorrow!" She just shook her head to the negative.
"No, it sounds like you guys have had a rough enough time." I was near speechless
"Well what's your name." She just smiled a tiny tight smile
"It's a secret." I was astonished all over again but reached out over the seat
"Well whatever your name is I'm Cori and you are a life saver." She just nodded shyly and turned around to go back to reading her book. I couldn't help noticing the guy that picked her up had dred locks. SHE and people like her are one of the BIG reasons I absolutely love living in Eugene Oregon. Sure the unemployment rate is terrific, but with folks like that around what does it really matter?
Ya so I'm having to let go someone I THOUGHT was my friend and I was blessed to meet a sweet and generous random stranger. Ah well it's not as if me and this fellow were ever really more than friendly business associates. There has only been I think three occasions where we were even close to being social, twice we had lunch when we briefly worked at the same call center and that same day I asked him to come over, he came with his girl to see me sing at Cafe' Paradiso and when I DID nearly swoon agreed to take me home. I just sucks to be pointedly reminded that there are people out there I care a great deal for that don't for whatever reason return that same level of affection. I HATE that.
Hate it.
I have new friends that unexpectedly have become GOOD friends. People that haven't hesitated to come to my aid, when asked and even unprompted. People like Scott Whitehead whose making my web site and gave us a ride to Portland (and an aside to Scott, thanks again for the ride and the most simulating conversation it was way fun), or my friend Aaron who got me started on this whole blog affair (last Saturday I met his parents and inadvertently had lunch at the same spot and was invited to dine with them, I can see where Aaron gets so many of his fine qualities). This is a man that a few weeks before when i was sleep deprived and feeling uber bitchy told me when I asked what his plans for the evening were was
"Well apparently hanging out with you." As if it was a gimme, and obvious statement of fact.
Who knew? Or K-mac my once co-worker whose agreed to become my accountant. Or Heidi a woman I'd only met on one occasion who not only ran me all over town in the heat but along with some help with other church members packed and scrubbed my entire home and then moved me. Or Kat and Tin who not only offered to take our cat Philamina and give her a good home but VOLUNTEERED to come over and help us unpack the house before we left on vacation.
I don't know exactly what I've done to earn these great people's regard and affection, but I'm immensely grateful, especially in light of these other flaky less true friends.
Thanks guys.
Well, now that I've vented I feel better and think I could actually fall asleep.
Until next time,

Cori